If

If.

What if that happened. Or what if that not going to happen.

The best thing I can do indeed. Stay calm and smile. At this point of time. 

If. 

Yeah how I wish IF I can have a capability. To turn the time back to before. Kinda really want that by the way. Perhaps sound stupid. Hahaha!

I'm trying so hard. So hard until I can feel that how Im going to break into two. 

Going to fall into a deep despair. Sometimes I was like, wanted to be an ignorant person whereby I felt that I don't care what would happen soon. But I simply can't. I would proud to say that I have kind soul. Kind heart. I can't be an ignorant person, which I knew I can be that.

Simple. I don't like people to ignore me. I somehow a person who like to be pampered. I can't simply do that. That why I'm always getting hurt by them. The person that ignore about my feeling. Its truly unbearable. But. I manage to handle.